Trust Issues
So imagine you were with a guy, lets call him Fuckboy, and things were good ish, but then things become not so good. you begin to think he is creeping,the signs are there. but youre not sure, so you push those feelings aside. then ironically, he starts accusing you of doing some dirt, which you arent doing. but because you have been flirting with other niggas you feel a little guilty. now some time later Fuckboy breaks up with you because of the trust issues he has developed. and you just cant believe it. shortly after the breakup you discover that the nigga was indeed cheating on you. like you have pure proof. and when you confront his bitch ass he still has the nerve to deny it. you move on and youre over him, and it isnt until a year later when he realize he fucked up and wants to try again that he finally admits that he indeed did fuck some tramp ass hoe. now ofcourse due to this whole situationship your trust issues have sky rocketed.
Now imagine that some time later you begin a new relationship. things are good as far as the relationship goes. yall laugh and talk and share memories and are creating new memories. have even thought up names for the children you will have in the future. you trust him. you trust him with your bank card. you trust him to leave him in your house. you trust him with your car. you trust him. you believe him when he says he loves you. you believe that he is happy with you and isnt worried about the other broads. then this happens:
You're at work and you get a text from, lets call him Newboy. it says "i miss you more, just got out of art class"
Now due to Fuckboy your immediate thought is, what the fuck you mean "more" i didn't say i miss you. so you do not respond because you are all in your feelings. youre assuming that he meant to send that to someone else, who did indeed say i miss you. youre assuming that there is some bitch out there that he is at the very least entertaining. but then you think back. there has been no other inclination that he is doing wrong. you have no reason to doubt him. you trust him. but then you think that he never says he misses you. you live together. he just saw you this morning. and the one time you were out of town he only said i miss you when you said it first. so why say it now?
so you text back, "more?" with that Newboy says "i meant to say baby wtf"
And now you look at the keyboard and youre like how did your phone turn baby into more? tell me. it dont make sense. and youre thinking, nigga you rarely ever call me anything but my name. but again you keep thinking that until this moment you trusted him. you didnt have any worries. but because of your trust issues part of you just doesnt believe it. but you dont want to say anything because then he will think that you don't trust him.
So my question is. Can you trust someone and still have trust issues. if something like this happens and it causes doubt does that mean you never trusted Newboy to begin with ? or that Fuckboy just fucked you up in the head so bad that you are just waiting for the other shoe to drop? can you honestly say you trust someone but then doubt something they tell you? can you have trust issues, but still trust someone? im not sure. i have no idea. i feel like you cant have both, but goddamnit, that is how i feel.
i trust Newboy. i believe that he loves me, but what if i am just being naive? what if this is my first sign that shit aint right? what if i have doubts for a reason? or what if this is just Fuckboy fucking with my head and i go tell him how i feel and fuck shit up? i dont like this feeling,but i do not know how to fix it. i have no reason not to trust. none. but why did i doubt?
trust issues bruh. trust issues.
