Why. Why did you take my grassy green away. Why couldn't she bless this lovely world with her presence. What did I do so awful that I didn't deserve a sister. My Meadow. Why. Its not fair.
Ever been so excited for something and then its ripped right from your grasp.
Sophomore year. 1st class of the day. Econ. Phone rings. "Mom". Why would she be calling me, she know I'm in class. I answer. "Blah blah blah, I'm pregnant". That was the only relevant part of the conversation. Cant tell anyone. Due in March. Will be showing for thanksgiving. Baby stuff to get. Hopefully a girl. Choosing names. Meadow. That's gonna be her name. Kinda weird but it grows on me. Then one day I'm told the baby is gone. She lost it. Stress. Stupid ass abusive husband. And sucky ass me for being in ohio while she is alone in Baltimore.
No more baby????????
What the hell
March comes and goes and no new addition to my family. No baby clothes all over my room. No bottles cluttering the sink. No carseat in my car. This isn't how it was supposed to be. 2 && 1/2 years later and I still miss her. Miss the pitterpatter I would/should hear around the house. Miss the making of bottles. The tiny clothes. The smell of baby powder. I miss it all.
I catch myself wondering if that really was for the best. What my life would be like now if she was really here. And sometimes I just hate life for taking my baby away. My baby sister. My Meadow.
I miss you sis! Maybe in the next life. I love you! RIP MEADOW!!
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