Adventures of a College Educated Misfit - Part 38

On extroverts dating introverts:

Now, let me start this by saying that I define an extrovert as someone who can interact and socialize with anyone. A person who can walk into a room full of strangers and walk out with atleast 2 new friends. That person. The person that randomly walks up to you at a social gathering and says, "Hey, I'm Aubrey, what is your name?" Those are extroverts. Those people that do not get anxious about social situations, specifically ones where they do not know anyone, rather they thrive in them.

On the other hand, we have introverts. I think of them as people that would rather not be placed in situations where they have to interact with multiple people at once, particularly those they do not already know. They are the people that stick to themselves at social gatherings. Probably in a corner somewhere on their phone. I think a common misconception is that introverts do not talk, and that is not true. They just would rather only have to talk to two other people that they know, opposed to speaking with 5 people they do not know.

For the sake of this conversation/discussion/rant we are going to keep in mind the two definitions that I have laid out for you above.

Here is the dilemma:

Extrovert is dating an introvert. Extrovert wants to spend the holidays with the family and interact with the loved ones. Of course being that the extrovert is dating and in love, the extrovert wants the introvert to come along. Being an introvert, the introvert would rather stay home and let the extrovert do their thing alone. Being that the extrovert loves the introvert, the extrovert doesn't want to push the introvert to do things they don't want to do. Herein lies the problem: If the extrovert accepts that the introvert will never want to attend family events together, then a small part of the extrovert will be hurt, because now the extrovert has to go alone. So the extrovert has to either choose to not be with the introvert during times when that's where they really want to be, or choose to persuade the introvert to attend too. If the extrovert chooses to let it be and the introvert stays home then it is like the extrovert is always choosing the family over the relationship, even when clearly that isn't the case. If the extrovert chooses to not attend the events because the introvert doesn't want to go and the extrovert does not want to go without the introvert, then it is like the extrovert is choosing the relationship over the family, which is also not the case. Or the extrovert tries to persuade the introvert to attend the event, which then makes the extrovert in turn feel bad for guilting the introvert into things they know the introvert does not feel comfortable doing.

What do you do? How do you tackle this situation? Is it acceptable for the extrovert to expect the introvert to put themself in an uncomfortable situation because they love the extrovert? Is it okay for the extrovert to change their traditions to make the introvert more comfortable? Is there some foreseeable compromise that will appease both the introvert and the extrovert? #QTNA