Half baked confessions...

So this blog isn't an assignment, just some shit (that's not extra major) that's on my mind. So here goes..

1.) Borderline bi-polar. the range of emotions i experienced yesterday was beyond ridick. (crying while walking down poydras. laughing hysterically on the streetcar). like i haven't really been thru any extra traumatic shit recently but idk. it may just be me avoiding the obvious or it may just be that genetics are catching up with me. but like my jumeaux say, i ain't going back on no med.

2.) 2011 = 2005. not completely. but the dates are aligned. and i'm feel all kinds of ways about that. my anniversary of my grandmothers death will be monday, august 1st just like it was in 2005. they cut the machines off thursday august 4th. her funeral was monday august 8th. i left for college monday august 15th. monday august 22nd was normal for me. thank god. and we all know what monday august 29th is.  i don't think i can take the similarities of the dates. even though they are just anniversaries. i've never had major anniversaries in my life besides these and it's like i'm reliving them.  i'm not expecting whoever reads this to understand but i'm afraid of august. terrified.

let's see. what else i got?

3.) i'm not keeping this job once i start my americorps shit. i will not cover my tat to work at an aquarium. i don't wanna sound like i'm above that shit, but i'm above that shit. and it lowkey drives me that i feel that job is beneath me. i think i get what my mother meant now.

4.) i need to write carla story. i had a nice ass dream about it. i want that dream to be real.

5.) recently i been extra in touch with my lesbian side and i don't understand. it's not cuz i'm turned off from men. maybe it's cuz i found the man? idk... so yea confused.

6.) revenge and other people's opinions are very important to me and that could have cost me something it shouldn't have.

7.) i'll be happy with whatever happens. if anything this will help me grow as a person and be more open for the next. and i will always love you for that. opening me up to me and much more. but i'm not  letting go that easy.

this is the minor shit i got on me. i got 2 more blogs coming. i got the titles tho. i think they hot. well just one. daddy issues ain't that cute a title but that's one. the other is an open letter to a past and future lover. and that's shit is hot for me....

deuces