DeeDee—
My
alarm blares and sends a jolt through my heart.
I began reaching around the bed frantically with my eyes closed. What time is it? What alarm is this going off? My mind continues to race as I begin slapping
the bed searching for my phone. I slap
skin. I know it’s not mine because I don’t feel
a sting. The voice that yells “ouch”
isn’t mine either. My eyes pop open. I look around. I’m familiar with this room. Woke up here plenty times before. I love how soft this bed is. The way the sheets feel against my naked
skin. As the memories from last night
flood back into my conscious mind, and my cell phone alarm continues to scream
from the floor, I yell, “Oh shit!”
James—
I
was sleep. Knocked the fuck out. And DeeDee decided to wake the shit out of
me. Her eyes are still closed, so I’m
tryna figure out if she’s a crazy sleeper.
Her phone is blaring out some song that my early morning ears can’t make
out, but I wish she would make it stop. She slaps the shit out of me and causes me to yell. I'm sure she's in a crazy as dream now because of the way her eyes open and dart around the room. She looks more like a zombie or robot or some shit. Then a look of panic crosses her face.
"Oh shit!" she yells.
"What?", I ask.
"Oh, nothing."
"I don't believe you."
"Just let me be an awkward duckie and not know how to process waking up naked in your bed."
"Was it that horrible of an experience?"
DeeDee--
"No, not at all," I try to say in my softest voice possible because that is not what it was. My alarm had finally silenced itself, and I got up to retrieve it. "I just get really awkward sometimes and I don't know how to process this."
"What's to process?"
"Well maybe it's just the girl in me, but I have to question why this happened and well what happens next?"
"Oh."
"Oh? That's all you got to say? You lucky I have to go to work." I hop out the bed and start finding and putting on my clothes. I just want to get out of here. This is why I always vowed to never sleep with any of my friends. No matter how attractive I was to them. No matter how much I liked them. James was the exception to every rule I could ever make though. I liked him to the point where I may have to use the other "L" word. I'd be willing to try anything for him. This time I took it too far, mostly because I wasn't getting the end result I wanted. Him.
James--
What could she possibly want from me? I'm not gonna just lay my whole soul out on the table. This isn't one of those cases were friends have sex, fall deep in love, and live happily ever after. That shit never happens because it doesn't exist. You only see it in those shitty ass movies with Justin Timberlake, right? Don't ask me how I know about those.
I mean, it is no secret that we feel some way about each other. Our friends can read it bright as day. I just don't think getting drunk and having sex is a best "next step" (as she put it) in this situation. I don't wanna ruin what we already have, which we may have done already, over some stupid shit. I like my friend and I wanna keep her around. I do like waking up to her beautiful face... but neither one of us are in a place to deal with this. Coming out of bad break ups, feelings still in recovery. She can't be my rebound.
All this shit floats through my head as I watch her gather her things. I try to think of what to say, if I should stop her... Nothing is coming to mind.
"You know, I was suppose to bring you home last night. Maybe I could give you a ride to work?" At least that way I can have a little more time to get my thoughts together.
"I think I may have a more pleasant time on the bus."
"Can't I have my awkward duckie moment too? Can I get some more time to figure out what I want to say?"
DeeDee--
My plan to run away from this situation was quickly unfolding. Be an adult Dee. Stick around and talk this out. You know you hate the bus anyway. Shove all this early morning attitude up your ass and put a smile on your face.
"I mean, I guess..."
I mean, it is no secret that we feel some way about each other. Our friends can read it bright as day. I just don't think getting drunk and having sex is a best "next step" (as she put it) in this situation. I don't wanna ruin what we already have, which we may have done already, over some stupid shit. I like my friend and I wanna keep her around. I do like waking up to her beautiful face... but neither one of us are in a place to deal with this. Coming out of bad break ups, feelings still in recovery. She can't be my rebound.
All this shit floats through my head as I watch her gather her things. I try to think of what to say, if I should stop her... Nothing is coming to mind.
"You know, I was suppose to bring you home last night. Maybe I could give you a ride to work?" At least that way I can have a little more time to get my thoughts together.
"I think I may have a more pleasant time on the bus."
"Can't I have my awkward duckie moment too? Can I get some more time to figure out what I want to say?"
DeeDee--
My plan to run away from this situation was quickly unfolding. Be an adult Dee. Stick around and talk this out. You know you hate the bus anyway. Shove all this early morning attitude up your ass and put a smile on your face.
"I mean, I guess..."
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