Adventures of a College Educated Misfit Part 16

This blog will serve multiple purposes.  I wanted to do a year wrap up like thing and there was one topic I've wanted to hit on that I have yet to touch so I'll just knock all this out at once.  Don't judge the fact that we basically a month into the new year and I'm barely getting this out either.  I'm a  #Misfit work in progress.

I think I can speak for all the #Misfits and say that 2012 was truly an ain't shit year.  And not just for us.  Fuckery lurked around every corner.  Yall was truly on some shit.

I'll like to take this time to highlight some of the most fuck-shit filled.... shit I encountered in the past year.

1. #TheThirst

I've been holding my tongue on this since this #Misfit shit started.  Every time I look around, somebody getting accused of being thirsty or is exhibiting some parched like behavior.

The best way I can describe #TheThirst is an extreme need for attention.  A longing, similar to lust, but a little more reckless. It's like water and Sprite. Want versus need.  You need water to live.  Sprite, you want, but sometimes it really feels like you need it.  #TheThirst does not discriminate against race, gender, sexual orientation...

This has been the year of thirsty niggas in folk DMs.  But what these heauxs fail to recognize is that they are the thirsty ones blasting the dudes in they DMs.  You gotta know what questions to ask.  What thirst driven activity did you participate in that lead all them niggas to yo DMs?  Don't blame them for responding to the Sprite lures, you put yo shit (normally T or A) out there; what you expect?  You got the attention you wanted. Point blank and the period.  Don't get mad when you didn't expect niggas to be asking for your address and shit.  If you see a sexy, shirtless man, what's your first thought?  Exactly.

You know what, this may be a blog post in itself.  Be on the lookout for #TheThirst -- REVISITED.


2.  Cuffin' Season

I can't talk about #TheThirst without thought of cuffin.  I first learned of cuffin season year before last.  I really didn't know what it was.  I thought the goal was to find somebody and smash by Marvin's week.  And then, this youtube nigga broke it down for me...

And then it got broke down even further when somebody figured out I'm a quick cuffer, but that is neither here nor there.

I'm just wondering when did we get so desperate that we made up a fake season to help keep us warm in bed.  I mean some people take the season serious, use it as an opportunity to make new friends and potentially life partners.  But if I don't wanna see you around the holidays and have no plans to share Vday with you, why the fuck should I continue to put on a show?  If you want consistent poon/peen  (which has already been test driven for stamina and pleasure) just call it that.  If you need a cuddle buddy to keep you warm the thru the bi-polar, sometimes cold New Orleans nights, say that.  Don't make up a fake ass season that will then come along with videos, blog post, calendars, playlists and merchandise...

3.  "YU GOIN TAH JAIL NAH"

Yall know what I'm talkin about... If not, click here.

I'm not even gonna comment.  He was wrong, she was really wrong, that uppercut will live FOREVER.

4.

While I was on YouTube, I decided to just go on ahead and add this.  Yall know everybody knew most of the words to this song and it was full of ratchet truth.  Now if you out there living that life, that's on you, but uh....

That's all I got for now.  Any  #Misfits care to add ?

Adventures of a College Educated Misfit Part 15

....On Casual Sex

I usually like to include an introductory story or scenario with each adventure, but this one needs no introduction. Ladies and Gentlemen, we're going to talk about sex. No, this won't be about making love, or any other sensual synonym for sex. I'm talking about smashing, fu*king, banging, and all the other colorful ways our generation has managed to describe the act. We're all adults here, and many of you all reading this post have had sex before. For the select few of you that are still virgins...congratulations. Hopefully, something I express within this post will reinforce your viewpoint on this situation.

I am a Misfit, and I am TOTALLY AGAINST THE NOTION OF "CASUAL SEX." Aside from the perceived stigmas and labels that come along with it, I just don't agree with it. I mean, let's just be honest here. Do you really think it's okay to just have sex for fun? Wait, let me ask that question in a different manner. Do you think that it's okay to share yourself with someone you have minimal or no real feelings for? When you consider how serious the outcome(s) of having sex can be, wouldn't it be advantageous to protect your investment? Yes, if you didn't know, your mind, emotions, and body are all personal investments. Be smart about who you share your stock with. You can thank me later for that little self-esteem builder. Anyway, I know we live in a day and age where sex is all around us, but damn...are we...nvm. I'll save that question / statement for later in this post. You know, I truly understand that you and I may not share the same viewpoints on sex as each other, but I just want you to humor me for the next 3-7 minutes.

Casual -
Without definite or serious intention; careless or off-hand
Seeming or tending to be indifferent to what is happening; apathetic; unconcerned
Irregular; occasional

Considering the definitions above, does casual sex still sound appealing? Sure, there will always be things that we do for the fun of it, but I'm not 100% sure that sex should be one of them. To me, having casual sex is like an invitation to get your feelings hurt. We all want to pretend that the sex "didn't mean anything," until you find out that you were just one of the people he / she was smashing. Now, your indifference to the situation has changed, and you're wondering why you even let it go that far. These are the kinds of questions that I'd like to avoid. Speaking of questions, can I just ask why people have casual sex? Is it because: (A) They're seeking acceptance? (B) They're looking for love? (C) They're just bored? (D) They're afraid of commitment? (E) They're trying to fill a void left by someone else? (F) They're just that obsessed with sex? (G) Their friends are doing it? Really, please tell me why people do it. Oh yeah, I almost forgot. [From above] I know we live in a day and age where sex is all around us, but damn...are we that desperate to fit in? Are you so shallow that you're willing to lift your skirt, just to lift your spirits?

Oh, and we [men] aren't exempt from this rant. Having casual sex with several women doesn't make you cool. It makes you look desperate. What's the point of having multiple sex partners that you don't care about? Is this some foolish attempt to instill pride within yourself? You need to chill your low self-esteem having ass down. Note to self, the women you're sleeping with probably don't think that much of you anyway. If they did, one of them would've stepped up to the plate to make you an honest man. But no, they see how full of sh*t you truly are, and just give you a little pu**y to keep you thinking you're great. Trust me, they're secretly laughing at you behind your back. How's that for a confidence builder, dude? You as a man have to do better. Grow up. Man up. Calm down.

I know what you're probably thinking, "This dude has some nerve. He probably doesn't get any, and now he wants to try and tell me what I'm doing is wrong." Meh, there aren't enough fu*ks to go around for me to give a sh*t about what you think of me. What you decide to do with your investments is totally up to you. I've learned my lessons about what casual sex affords me, and I'm not for it anymore. When the satisfaction wears off, and you still feel alone, what progress have you made? Oh, and can casual sex lead to a relationship? Sure, it definitely can....but what happens when the sex stops? That same apathy you had for your casual partner will probably transfer into an apathy one of you will have for the relationship. I'll just leave that alone.

Look, by all means, do what you need to do. Just be safe and sensible about it. Be mindful of your self-worth, and just be careful. We don't need any additional hurt heauxs out here looking for attention....

Adventures of a College Educated Misfit Part 14

.....On Being Friends With Your Ex

"Hey. Over the past year, our friendship has taken on a different identity. You know me better than most other people, and I like that. We've been dating for about three months now, and I'll admit that each month has been better than the one before it. You make me feel as if I'm worth more than gold. You make me sweat, without the Molly [Woooo!!]. If it's okay with you, it would be an honor if you would let me be your boyfriend."

1 year and 8 months later:

"Baby, I love you. Since we've been together, I feel like you've made me a better man. You're my best friend, and I will always love you. [insert some other mushy stuff]

The End:

"Go ahead. I'll wait. Oh....so you're done? I thought we could work through this issue? Maybe we could still be friends?"

Has this happened to you? Your good friend becomes your great friend, and then your great friend becomes your boyfriend / girlfriend, only to become your Ex-friend in the future? Weird, isn't it? You can't go to your favorite Taco Tuesday spot because your ex will probably be there. You wonder what it will be like at Homecoming. What do you tell your mutual friends? I mean, of course they have to choose sides, right? Now, you can't go to the Pajama Jam sleepover because your Ex has RT the party invite, and a picture of their PJs on Instagram. Now who's going to be your +1 for all these weddings you RSVP'd for? Who's going to help you wash the dishes at night? See, friendships get lost within relationships, and if, well when things go sour, you've not only lost a potential spouse, you're now missing a best friend....or are you?

I'm a Misfit, and I believe that it is possible that you can be friends with an Ex. Oh, so you want to know if I'm friends with any of my ex-girlfriends. This is not about me, okay? Just let me cook, sheesh. Anyway, I genuinely believe that one can mend & maintain friendships after relationships have run their course. While it depends on how bad the breakup was, I strongly believe that a real friendship can overcome most obstacles. Yes, you all decided to take your friendship to the next level, only to realize that you actually liked where you were before. It's cool, you can go back to being friends, but just keep this in mind:

1. You will never look at your Ex as just a friend ever again. It'l be damn near impossible for you to just see them as a a friend. You'll have to keep your hormones and feelings under control whenever you are near them. Of course, you all could just have sex randomly. Wait, let me save that for #5.

2. You won't be able to get jealous once they've found someone else. Don't be that bitter friend that is jealous of your friends' happiness. So what if you all dated for a few years, you're back in that friend zone, and shouldn't bit*h up when your Ex moves on.

3. In an argument or group discussion, private details about your old relationship can be exposed. We've all managed to bash an Ex during an intellectual group discussion. Those French doughnuts can only keep your Ex quiet for so long. They'll be open and honest about everything. Nothing is off limits amongst friends, right? Now, however, you're being hypothetically bashed in a forum, and have to just sit back and watch.

4. House parties. You all still have the same friends. Those friends will throw parties. You're both going to be at those parties. You'll both probably try to drown your awkward feelings with alcohol. Now, every song is your song, and the idea of "Friends with Benefits" doesn't sound too bad.

5. You now have access to sex on demand. Ever wish you could just have sex with your friend, without making things uncomfortable? Well, since you and your Ex are just friends now, you can! Since you all have probably been intimate before, you'll both already know what each other really likes. BUT, understand that cuddling afterwards, or any real sign of affection will not be tolerated, as you are now just being used for sex.

Look, I'm not saying it'll work for everyone, but it can work for some folks. When it comes down to it, being friends with an Ex could be a good thing. Whether you want to admit it or not, they're probably your best source of constructive criticism and support. So what if things didn't work out between you [this time], they're probably willing to help with your personal development, just so you all can get back together in the future.

Wait....just got a text from an Ex. We'll just stop here.