Adventures of a College Educated Misfit Part 30

-- #BenWaDiaries - Entry B

I don't even remember what I said in the last one of these....

I'll keep this one short and sweet.

5 Things You Should Know About Your Balls...

1. Do not wear them to use the bathroom.  Push and them heauxs start to slide out.  Now this can be an excellent exercise, push the out then suck them back in.... but it just feels so strange.  I wouldn't suggest it.
2. Now if your balls happen to have the inner ball, please be careful how you move.  Riding around in a vehicle on the bumpy ass streets of New Orleans will have your vagina lit up like a bonfire and wetter than the Mississippi.  If you have no plans of getting any, do NOT do this.
3. I already have crazy sex dreams.  Wearing this balls to sleep seems to intensify that.  I had sex with like 5 people the last time.  They just kept morphing into the next person.  It was worse that watching the Power Rangers.
4. I don't think I could ever talk about sex toy maintenance enough.  Clean them bitches.  Soap and warm water.  Dry them well and store them in a place where they can air dry all the way.  If you want mildew in your snatch that's on you...
5. Be aware of the strengthening of you muscles because of the balls.  If yours are tethered together, like mine, but them in and apply pressure to the string hanging out.  Kinda have a tug of war with your vagine.  Thank me later.

Short and sweet.  I'll let you know if I learn anything different.  I do believe it's almost time for me to get a smaller set of balls.  Oh the debauchery... 

Misfit. Out.

Adventures of a College Educated Misfit Part 29

[this was originally written about 2 weeks ago...]

-- On being an educator

Now don't feel excluded because you've never worked in a school/academic setting. This is a #Misfit post. We don't think logically.

This post is for anyone who has ever spent time working in a school (in any capacity), mentoring youth in their community/church, raising offspring of your own...any type of extended periods of time spent with small people.

In light of recent events, the Martin trail, the 6 year old girl being found in a trash can, that grown ass adult killing a kid over a frozen cup.... I find it harder to do my job. I don't like it when real life and my life intertwine.


Brief history on me -- I've spent the last 3 years of my life working with kids from birth to about 18 or maybe even older. I've witnessed the abuse of infants, family issues galoe, kids with kids, kids raising younger siblings, kids working to support their family, ankle bracelets, every learning disability under the sun, kids in the foster system, students who lost their teacher to violent death, and worse of all, students who were shot or killed.


I don't like to teach. At all. But then I have to reexamine the meaning of the word teach. It goes so much further than being responsible for someone's academic gains. I'll be working with kindergarten this year and now I'm responsible for teaching kids things they will use forever: numbers, letters, how to use a pen, how to read....BUT I'll also be helping to, and being build their character, especially the "challenges" in my class.  Again, teaching is not purely academic...But, where I'm really going with this is that I have to teach these kids they are Black and what being Black in America means Black i New Orleans.

I don't feel comfortable teaching someone else's child about race.  I think that's something that should be taught at home, but clearly...

[I swear I'm going somewhere with this... or maybe not]

Here are my teaching goals for the year :

1. to teach my kids to strive for academic excellence no matter what.  Mostly perseverance. 
2. to teach my students mechanisms to cope with any "learning difficulties" they may experience.  What I've experienced is that some "special learners" are treated in different ways that do not enable them to learn but allows the teacher to teach with minimum disruptions.
3. to not enable "bad" behaviours in my students despite what other teachers are doing.
4. to make my students aware of challenges they may be face with because of their race without necessarily going in to race.
• Ex: "You'll be told this, that, and the third but you are this, that, and the third...."  [if that makes any sense...]

I'm a misfit.  I am an academic but non academic educator.  I may suck at letter sounds but my kids will be beast at self motivation and awareness and will not have any excuse for not being active learners and knowing their learning style.

This definitely not the last thing I have to say on the topic but it's def a good start to my school year....

The Quickie Chronicles - Trenchcoat

Hadn't seen her in weeks. I just got back in town from a work trip to Cali and my phone rings. Before i even pick it up i know its her because of the Body Party song playing on my phone. "Hey baby" she says as soon as i say "Hello". She tells me how bad she wants to see me and i tell her i missed her too, but i needed some rest and i would get with her tomorrow. she says "ok" and we end the convo. Not even 2 seconds after i put my phone on the nightstand then my doorbell rings. I walk to the door and when i open it Aubrey is standing there in a long black trenchcoat and her louboutins on. I just stare at her.

"Are you gonna let me inside?" she asks with a smirk. I move to the side and allow her to enter my apartment. "I was already here before you said you wanted to rest, and i figured i might as well atleast say hi since i came all this way" she states seductively as she begins to remove my tie. I grab the belt holding the coat closed and as soon as i loosen it the coat falls open and her perky d cup tits are staring back at me. Her freshly shaved pussy looks edible. before she can even completely unbutton my shirt i lift her in the air and wrap her legs around the back of my neck. Her pussy is right in my face. smelling sweet and lovely just like i remember. I grip her ass to make sure she is secure on my shoulders. my tongue goes to work. licking and slurping all on her. my tongue is flicking softly and quickly against her clit trying to make her love come down. im enjoying her like this is my last supper. as i continue to slurp all of her juices, being sure not to drip any on my shirt, i head to the kitchen. I place her gently on the counter and she finished removing my shirt, pants and boxers. My dick is on solid and pulsating as i look her sitting there sexy as hell in nothing but pumps.

 she hops down, walks to the fridge and grabs the can of whip cream that i keep in stock for moments like this. she walks back towards me, pushes me to sit in one of the kitchen chairs, kneels on the floor and uses the whip cream to draw a line from my neck, down my abs, and from the bottom of my shaft to the tip. she proceeds to sexily lick every drop of whip cream off my body ending with my dick. if i didnt know any better i would think that my dick was a lollipop and she was a candy addict. her tongue is doing swirls around my tip. she is allowing my dick to slowly fall in and out of her mouth. her pace is quickening and every time my dick pops out of her mouth, the sound it makes makes my dick that much harder. i see her playing with her clit as she continues to lick my dick from the bottom to the top. when she reaches the top again she lets my dick enter her warm, wet mouth as far as it will go. my 8 inch dick is almost invisible in her mouth. before i know it im releasing my seed all in her mouth.

as soon as the last drop of cum falls on her tongue i lift her off the ground and place her on my lap. with her lips on mine, my dick in her warmth wetness, she lifts her feet to rest on my knees. this angle is different and feeling great. im gripping her ass and she bouncing on my dick like we in a bouncy house. i feel her drippin her sweet juices on my legs. she drops her legs, puts them on the back of the chair and leans back. she continues to thrust into me while i stroke back.

before i bust again i pick her up carry her back to the counter and put her on her stomach with her legs hangin off the side. i slip inside and she wraps her legs around me. i start pounding and driving inside her pussy. she moaning and saying my name. im smackin her ass with one hand while the other hair pulls on her natural afro. "Ian, Ian, Ian" she keeps saying over and over again. I dig deeper and stroke slower until i feel my dick pulsating and know its bout to be over. i speed up and proceed to release my seed inside her.

When i pull out, her cream is all over my dick. i pick her up off the counter and place her on the floor again. she squats and licks all her cream, juices and my cum off my dick. when there is no trace of the fuckin we just did left she stands up, and starts walking toward the shower. "Hey Aubrey," i yell, she turns around, "I love the trenchcoat!"

blah blah blah

I must warn you, this will be a rant...dig in

So my issue, or the one buggin me the most at the moment concerns a boy--what else is new right..? anyway said boy is plucking my nerves and just making me crazy. and i guess technically he isnt really doing anything wrong perhaps...but he isnt really doing anything, and that's the problem. ya see i over think shit. alot! i also have trust issues. but nowadays who doesnt. anywho with all of these things working against me the smallest things makes me suspicious and quite aware. so this is the situation:

April
kinda sorta maybe randomly had sex with a guy. i intended for it to just be a fun time of sex while he was around. he decides to fall in like and make these feelings known. spending lots of time together, my dumbass falls in like too.--now if you read my other post you wil recall the best friend issues, this is the same guy--we still kickin it, and in my opinion things are moving in the right direction. im ready for the real fall. im ready for someone to catch me and never put me back down. and i think this could be the catcher for me

May
things are still going well but it is time for him to return to his regular life, thus placing us 300ish miles apart. once he is gone, we still talk everyday. have good convo. tell each other we miss each other. ya know all that mushy shit. but as time continues to go by convos are becoming shorter. he begins to disappear. i see small flirting on twitter with girls that arent me. he still is claiming that the feelings are there and that we are working to see where this can go

June
i go visit. things are great. just like before he left. we hang out almost everyday im in town. he is being mushy and acting all cutesy. if you didnt know any better you would think we were in a relationship. he gets a little jealous/territorial whatever you wana call it. but im happy. he even tells me that if we didnt live so far apart he would have been wifed me up. nice right? wrong..you dont tell a girl that the only reason you arent with her is because of distance and then as soon as she is gone start acting all weird again. reading my texts and then not responding. disappearing. fliritng. not ever seeming like you actually wanna talk to me. rarely texting me first. no more cute good morning texts. shit is no longer the same, but somehow i am supposeed to believe that if we lived closer together we would be together? and i would be able to trust you?

July
so im still having all those reservations and dealing with the same emotional issues. and ofcourse, me being me i bring them up. still claiming that he wants to see where this goes and is still interested and blah blah blah. but idk if i should trust it. should i keep puttin in effort to talk? he is just testing me? or is he just playing me? fuck me i have no clue. i hate the guessing game. but idk what to do.

i guess the purpose of this rant was for some input. advice. comments. anything. im kinda stubborn so i may not take all of it to heart and do what you say but i would like to hear what you got to say anyway. fellow #misfits help a girl out!

misfit out!

Adventures of a College Educated Misfit - Part 28

....On Honesty

Let's face it. At some point in our lives, we've told a lie, or we will have to fib a little. We've lied to our parents about where we've been. Lied to our teachers about why we didn't turn in an assignment on time. I know we've all lied to a friend, knowing damn well that we didn't want to go somewhere / do something with them. I lied about my age to see Friday when it came out. Literally, I wasn't even 12yrs old, but I lied [in my deepest manly voice] and told the cashier that I was 17. My point is, we all do it. It could be because we want something, or because we're trying to avoid something / someone. It sucks, but it happens.

Keeping with this ideal, a white lie here and there won't necessarily diminish your character, or have you burned at the stake. However, habitual lies are just uncalled for. I'm amazed at how creative a habitual liar can be. The stories they craft could win awards, but I think their memory is what has me captivated. Not only do they have to remember the lie, they have to remember which portions they've told to which people. In fact, the lie becomes so elaborate, that the liar him/herself actually starts to believe it. That, my friends, is a good-ass liar. Ooooh!! What about people that flat out lie to your face?!?! Doesn't that just burn you up on the inside? Even when the truth matters, they'll force feed you a lie to save face....or to save you? Can there ever be a situation in which telling a lie is better than telling the truth?

Consider these two choices: an "ugly truth," or a "beautiful lie." Both have small traces of satisfaction and relief, but both choices leave something to be desired. I'm sure that each of us will immediately align ourselves with one of these choices, based on our previous life experiences. Our past certainly has a way of shaping our future decisions, you know? Anyway, you've already made your decision, so I will share mine with you now. I'm a Misfit, and although lying is completely eff'd up, I'd prefer a "beautiful lie," as opposed to an "ugly truth."

In typical Misfit fashion, the logic behind my choice is probably unconventional, but it's how I reached a decision, and that's what we're going with. I like to use real-life scenarios to get my point across, to try and reduce some of the bias from the situation.

Scenario #1: You, or let's say a loved one, has been admitted into the hospital. While there, several tests are performed, in hopes of diagnosing the issue. The results are in, the Doctor has determined that it's a rare and terminal brain disease. Would you prefer the Doctor to approach you and your loved one and say, "We've found the issue, and it's a rare and terminal brain disease. Unfortunately, there's nothing we can do about it at this stage. It might be best to start getting your affairs in order. " OR would you rather the Doctor say, "We've found the issue, and it's a rare and terminal brain disease. Although the situation doesn't look very well, my staff and I will do all that we can to find a cure."

Scenario #2: You've fallen in strong like with someone. Sh*t, it happens to the best of us, right? Anyway, now that you're head over heels for this person, you quickly start to realize that those feelings aren't readily reciprocated. When you decide to question the person that has swept you off your feet, the awkward moment begins, and the explanation is on the launch pad. Would you prefer to hear, "You're a really great person, with an amazing personality. I just don't think that I'm the best person for you at this point in your life." OR would you rather hear, "You're just not my type. You're clingy, and that's that sh*t I don't like."

As you will notice, the "ugly truth" in both scenarios above lead to an absolute end. There's little room for interpretation, no room for an optimistic view. HOWEVER, with a "beautiful lie," one has hope...the opportunity to see the silver lining amongst the storm clouds. That is what people need these days. Hope. When presented with a garbage-ass spades hand, you can at least hope that your partner has the Big and Little Jokers, the Aces, or even the 2 of spades [because we all know that Deuces are wild....LOL]. Life's tough, but what makes it bearable is the notion that everything could possibly okay. 

That's the potential a "beautiful lie" provides. You don't want to hear that the man / woman of your dreams flat out doesn't want you. You'd much rather hear that maybe there's someone out there better suited for the amount of affection you're willing to devote. Sure, it might not be what you want to hear, but it could end off being what you ultimately need to hear. Our words have the potential to break someone's spirit, or to build someone's confidence. You make the decision....

Adventures of a College Educated Misfit Part 27

-- On self-worth/daddy issues/sex vs. love

This is gonna be a random vent.  I really don't know where to start or how much to say.

So I had a conversation with a #Misfit a while back about how comfortable our generation is with just fucking and how unnerving relationships can be. Why the fuck is that?  Beside the obvious reason.  Daddy issues.  Self esteem lower than than gas prices in '87.  Popular culture, if that can really take blame for anything (that's another topic).  Why is it that my body count lingers somewhere in the back of my head  (btw, that #Misfit on body count...heaux, I'm waiting), but the non-emotional attachment of just fucking these niggas is so alluring?  I know I deserve more than that and the simplicity I'm attaching to the act just isn't real...

Or is it?  I can accept that that's all someone may want from me.  But if you go trying to add anything else to the  equation I freak out.  Several things creep across my mind.  Why wouldn't someone even want more from me?  This shit ain't real.  Feelings aren't real.  Is it all just a game, a ploy to make it seem like you want more just to get it easier?  If so, the extra effort you're putting it just isn't worth it.  Or really even necessary.

But then, you have to question if the vibes you put out change someone's motives in trying to get to know you/fuck you/whatever.

This is far more complicated than I imagined.

You have to question how much of the angst, uncomfortablity (yes, I just made that word up) you've allowed to build up, for whatever reasons, is now stamped on your fucking forehead for everyone to see.  You're so-called vibes are being judged and people then have the right decide if they are willing to deal with what you bring for some.... whatever the fuck it is they are looking for.   You have to question how much of the emotional baggage you carry around is worth it.  You have to question the source of the pain, angst, bitterness.  You have to be willing to deal with it and make yourself feel better about yourself.

Next question,  while in this period of recovery do you allow yourself to open to/potentially open to/try to open up to/just fuck someone?  Does it hurt or help recovery?

Like bottom line, I know my issues.  And sometimes I choose to deal with them.  But for the most part there are some doors I don't want to open in fear of what I may find/know I will find.  Do I owe it to myself or to whoever I could potentially be with to deal with these issues first?  Do I use them to learn/gain life experience/mend some wounds/numb the pain?

This is beginning to create more questions than answers.  More of a plead for help than a rant.  So, I ask the #Misfits to lend a hand and help me solve this dilemma, or just open a document.

Signed,

Anonymous  

Adventures of a College Educated Misfit Part 26

On Instagram Videos...

Ok. So i must say that i am a social network person. I have facebook and twitter and IG. and once upon a time i had tagged, myspace, formspring, ya know when it was cool. But i am so disgusted with IG for adding videos. I intentionally avoided vine because i did not care to see videos muhfuckas thought should be made.

like why did IG do this? was it just to keep vine from gettin more people than they had? had they always intended to add videos? like wtf.

whatever the dumb ass reason is, i am now stuck seeing hella videos taking up my news feed. and ya know they are all lame. i havent seen not ONE IG video that was worth watching. niggas recording themself cookin, themself twerking, working out, acting a fool in public. like muhfuckas, i DO NOT FUCKIN CARE. if i wanted to see that shit i would get on youtube or turn on my damn tv.

so i am ranting because it annoys me. i know im not the only one tho. and i think IG was just bein salty bout vine gettin popular so they added some shit too, fuckers.

i think that was really all i had to say. #misfit out!

The Quickie Chronicles: The Way I Want It

The day had been great so far. We had spent the whole day in downtown Chicago exploring. Much needed quality time. We had finally reached the house and were laying down watching some dumb movie. I couldn't even tell you what was going on. But the next thing I know, he is grabbing my ass and nibbling on my ear. His tongue is gliding down my neck while one hand is caressing my ass and the other is cupping my boob. My boyshorts are slowly getting wet, and I am overcome with desire.

I manage to turn over to face him and plant soft, wet, deep kisses of yearning onto his lips. His hands seem to never leave there place on my body. My hands begin to wander over his abs, arms, back, whatever they can find until he takes his hand, covers mine and moves it down to the bulge in his basketball shorts. I look down and see that someone is getting excited. I begin to make a trail from his lips down his torso to meet the top of his shorts. I lick and tease his spot right above where his pubic hair starts, as i pull and tug and remove his shorts and boxers.

I allow his erection to slide into my warm wet mouth and take possession of it, as if nothing else ever belongs in my mouth. I slowly lick up and down his shaft. I leave a trail of my wetness from the tip all the way to his sensitive balls. As I reach the top again I allow only the head to enter my mouth completely. I begin to softly suckle and lick the head. He is making those soft whimpering and moaning sounds. It is driving me insane. While I continue to pleasure him with my mouth I begin to remove my clothes.

I guess he can't take it anymore because before I know it I am on my back and all my clothes have landed somewhere in the room. He slides down the bed and pulls me off the pillow. He lays on top of me and slowly thrusts himself inside of me. I gasp with pleasure and stare in his face. He leans down and plants soft kisses on my lips. With every stroke my nails dig deeper into his back. I am positive that his back will have all sorts of evidence on it by morning. He reaches under me and cups my ass and pushes himself deeper inside. He fills every empty space inside of me. I'm moaning and screaming so loud I am sure I have awakened the neighbors. His thrusts are so deep and well paced that I am unable to clearly articulate his name. My feet are on his chest and my knees are bent. He is all up in it and I'm telling him how much I love it. Several orgasms later, he cums with me. He rolls over and just stares at me. I smile and say, "you don't think I'm done are you" as I climb on top.

As squat on top of him I let his length slowly enter me. Taking him inch my inch and enjoying every bit of it. Once he is snug at home I begin to lightly bounce. I can feel my ass jiggling behind me. I hear his soft moans and grunts beneath me. I feel his hands attempting to grab my full round ass, but he is unable to complete the task. I'm bouncing and riding him like a cowgirl in Dallas, Texas. I hear the gushing, smacking sound of my juices every time I bounce up and down. I'm putting in work and showing him what he has been missing while I was away. A few more slow and deep bounces and I feel his erection stiffen inside of me, I know that he is about ready to blow. But I am still not finished with him yet.

I jump up, move to the edge of the bed and bend over. He stares and me and smirks, "oh that's the way you want it?" He struggles to get up but when he finally reaches me, he yanks my hair and thrusts into me. I'm still soaking and feel my juices sliding down my thigh. He hikes one of his legs up on the bed to get better leverage and begins to delve deeper inside. I am gripping the sheets and trying to pull whatever I can. His name is being screamed from my mouth. Moans are escaping. My back is arched and his thrusts are even and deep. I feel him in my gut. I'm creaming all over him and it is nonstop. Soon he meets me and releases himself deep inside. I collapse and he moves to lay on the bed. He pulls me up to cuddle with him. Moves my hair off my face and kisses me. I look up to him and say, "yea, that's the way I wanted it"!

Adventures of a College Educated Misfit Part 25

#BenWaDiaries - Entry A

So I just don't do #Misfit posts but I thought it would be fun to do a funny sub to the category on the things I love most.  All sex related, of course.

Before we even get started, let me learn yall about kegel exercises and Ben Wa balls.

Kegel exercises are exercises to strengthen the pelvic floor to enhance sexual experience, reduce the likelihood of incontinence, and reduce the risk of your uterus falling out. (Trust you don't wanna see pictures of that).

Ben Wa balls are two weighted balls [literally] of varying size and material that help enhance the benefits of kegel exercises.  They also bring increased pleasure during sexual intercourse or while bouncing or rocking on a solid surface.

Now to the point...

So I've been contemplating buying Ben Wa balls to expand my kegel exercise experience.  I wanted to make sure that I didn't get balls that are too small for starters.  I mean, I keep my ish together but it's not like I could use a ball that's small in diameter and heavily weighted and expect it to not fall out, she's not use to that.  I also wanted something that was easily cleaned and maybe tethered together on a string, just so they won't get lost in there.

Anyway, so I decided on a big silver pair, thinking they were metal and therefore non porus and easy to clean.  These bitches is plastic. I'm upset.  Oh well.  They are tethered together on a string, are big, and have inner balls that roll around for that extra umph.  I've had them on for about 20 minutes now.  After inserting them, with a little lube, I bent over and felt the inner balls move around.  I'm in for all kinds of trouble...

A few hours later, I decided to take them out.  I squoze on them to keep em in, to make em move, to make the lil ball inside them move.  I was pleased, and that pleasure coated...

*Clears throat*

This is just day one.  And just me sitting around and not doing shit.  Wait til I start moving and dancing and fucking with them in.  The tales I'll have to tell....