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I must warn you, this will be a rant...dig in

So my issue, or the one buggin me the most at the moment concerns a boy--what else is new right..? anyway said boy is plucking my nerves and just making me crazy. and i guess technically he isnt really doing anything wrong perhaps...but he isnt really doing anything, and that's the problem. ya see i over think shit. alot! i also have trust issues. but nowadays who doesnt. anywho with all of these things working against me the smallest things makes me suspicious and quite aware. so this is the situation:

April
kinda sorta maybe randomly had sex with a guy. i intended for it to just be a fun time of sex while he was around. he decides to fall in like and make these feelings known. spending lots of time together, my dumbass falls in like too.--now if you read my other post you wil recall the best friend issues, this is the same guy--we still kickin it, and in my opinion things are moving in the right direction. im ready for the real fall. im ready for someone to catch me and never put me back down. and i think this could be the catcher for me

May
things are still going well but it is time for him to return to his regular life, thus placing us 300ish miles apart. once he is gone, we still talk everyday. have good convo. tell each other we miss each other. ya know all that mushy shit. but as time continues to go by convos are becoming shorter. he begins to disappear. i see small flirting on twitter with girls that arent me. he still is claiming that the feelings are there and that we are working to see where this can go

June
i go visit. things are great. just like before he left. we hang out almost everyday im in town. he is being mushy and acting all cutesy. if you didnt know any better you would think we were in a relationship. he gets a little jealous/territorial whatever you wana call it. but im happy. he even tells me that if we didnt live so far apart he would have been wifed me up. nice right? wrong..you dont tell a girl that the only reason you arent with her is because of distance and then as soon as she is gone start acting all weird again. reading my texts and then not responding. disappearing. fliritng. not ever seeming like you actually wanna talk to me. rarely texting me first. no more cute good morning texts. shit is no longer the same, but somehow i am supposeed to believe that if we lived closer together we would be together? and i would be able to trust you?

July
so im still having all those reservations and dealing with the same emotional issues. and ofcourse, me being me i bring them up. still claiming that he wants to see where this goes and is still interested and blah blah blah. but idk if i should trust it. should i keep puttin in effort to talk? he is just testing me? or is he just playing me? fuck me i have no clue. i hate the guessing game. but idk what to do.

i guess the purpose of this rant was for some input. advice. comments. anything. im kinda stubborn so i may not take all of it to heart and do what you say but i would like to hear what you got to say anyway. fellow #misfits help a girl out!

misfit out!